Personal Reflections

Was I Really Happy?

“Was I really happy?, you didn’t have the chance to ask me, now that I see you clearer was it just smoke and mirrors?”

-Smoke and Mirrors (Demi Lovato)


Right now, I just want to lay my armors down. I hate myself for being hypocrite. For pretending its okay when it is not. For being weak.

At this very moment.  I want to lay  under the moonlight. I want to eat ice cream and just just live. I want to play a guitar above the hilltop. Lastly I want to scream how messed up I am inside.

It’s not the feeling of hopelessness, it’s not loneliness. It’s just that the “I” that I am is lost. Not because others told me not to, but simply because I am too afraid.

We live in this world where we all submit to conformity.

However, among the crowd when can you say that it is you?

When can you stop caring about what they say?

Without cringing

Without thinking twice

For once when can you just be selfish?

When can you not do the right thing?

When can you tell yourself it is okay?

When is the time  “YOU” will be replaced by “I”?